When I was first invited to join this blog, there were in my mind, certain things I was hesitant to write about. How much do I want to give away about myself without sounding like an absolute nut-case? Should I just write about inconsequential things? Perhaps I cannot keep silent any longer. We live in a somewhat accepting society, one in which it would take a great deal to 'put people off,' so to say. Now, as I accept that when you read the next few paragraphs I am about to write, you may feel like I am pulling your leg or just being sensational. I must assure you that I am being very earnest with my admission and that I hope you allow me the same courtesy and understanding and curiosity that you would should I be sitting across from you.
I seem to be a magician. Is that what it's even called? Hell, I don't even know. The style has been called many things. Mystic, witch, occultist, wizard, hermetic, chaos magician, sorcerer, Thelemite and weirdo. Personally, I prefer occultist or as Erasmus Herzen liked to call me 'a Rosicrucian.' Well, that's partially right, but far too specific. But for all the names, magician is the one that sticks. I do not dress in dark clothes, I wear no trinkets or jewelry besides an earring, I have no dripping candles in my room, no crystal balls or incense. I live a very normal life which I conduct in odd ways. The way I conduct it is very important and not something that I shall share; for one reason in particular. When I do so, say, at a party or something, people rush off like I've just ignited a stink-bomb.
So yes, Magician. First thing I usually get asked when I say this is, 'Well can you do tricks?,' either seriously of jokingly. I laugh (laughter is actually the most important part of being a magician, it really is) and blush a little, but answer sincerely;
'Yes, if you give me time.' This tends to confuse people because tricks usually rely on being spontaneous and the tricks that I have pulled off never, ever happen suddenly. If they did, I'd probably be a far different man than I am today. No, the tricks that I accomplish are small things that are in aid of me becoming a better and more willful person, but most importantly- Understanding the world and my role in it.
The next thing I'm asked is usually 'So what, do you believe in gods and devils and demons and that stuff.'
'No, and yes' I reply, 'I'm open to every idea, but also not at the same time.' By this time, those who have been patient suddenly leave, writing me off for being a 'crazy.' Remaining an agnostic magician is a very beautiful thing. I shall have to quote at this point the greatest magician of the last 150 years, Aleister Crowley, who put it better than anyone ever could about what to believe in, so far as magic is concerned-
"In this book it is spoken of the Sephiroth and the Paths; of Spirits and Conjurations; of Gods, Spheres, Planes, and many other things which may or may not exist. It is immaterial whether these exist or not. By doing certain things certain results will follow; students are most earnestly warned against attributing objective reality or philosophic validity to any of them."
So, yes I think there may be Gods and devils, UFOs and ghosts. I also think there may be volcanoes and buildings, horses and chairs.
My perception and understanding of things is very unconventional. I have accepted this fact. If at this point somebody should ask the question (which nobody ever has, I really wish they did), 'Hmm. That's interesting, why aren't more people magicians?'
"Well, because of several factors. For one, it actually takes time and work. You make your own world.' I'd remark.
'So, you don't follow anybody?'
'No, but you listen to certain things and people and choose your own pieces of the puzzle. It's a great deal of work.'
'How so?' They would ask quizzically.
'Well, you have to understand certain things about yourself, and build from there. Once you have done this it moves to murkier water.'
Here's where they'd lean in. 'Murkier water? Like what?'
"Well, there's ritual... Ritual and err...' I would pause.
End of pt. I
Oh, and Happy 200th Post, Knowing Doing!
Let's keep on Knowing, but do more Doing!